Today is a thinking day. Quite a few people asked me, what do you want for your future? What if you make it? What if you dont? What if something happen?

I dun know how to reply. To me, future is something very unreal. There are too many uncertainties, too many factors to consider. Yes I can plan for my future, but what if things turn out differently?

I used to spend the time before sleeping to think about future scenario, and how i will react to it. Like for example, what if i ask a girl out to date? In one night, i can think of thousand and eight ways to respond to all possible responses she can give me. Then from then on, i'll branch out the line of thoughts. So although i nv did ask the girl out, but in my mind, she probably already went out with me more than hundred times.

That is so stupid.

But anyway, that is not important.

Lets say one day, suddenly one person ask you "what do you want in your life?", can you immediately churn out the answer? NO! If anyone can reply in that instant,then they are just giving you the politically correct answer, the FORMAT answer!

"What do you want for your future?" is that kind of question which you need days to think about, to ponder on. I believe a person at different stage of life have different ideas of their future. When i'm young, i want to have a room specially for my lego city ( i'll build a city using LEGO ). When i'm in lower sec, i want to be an architect in the future. When i'm 15-16, i just want to be rich. However on some days when i'm more deep in thoughts, i want to own a small cosy cafe and spend quality time with loved one.

SO if You tell me all along in you life you want to earn big bucks and drive big car in the future. I'll say you are lying to yourself. That is not the true you. That is the person that the modern capitalist society wants you to become. To strike for the gold pot at the end of rainbow. To a baby, he will choose his toy over a million dollars cheque.

However, i dont deny money is important. Those who say that life should not be all about earning money are all morons. They are either well off to start with or super religious. Try telling a starved beggar that money are not important and that spiritual development is more important than anything. I swear they will stand up and stab you with whatever they have in their hand. Money is essential! But then different people have different definition of enough money. For me, enough money is the luxury of traveling freely. For you, it might even be a sentosa cove landed property.

Everyone can tell you big dreams, big hopes, big fantasy. I think that is all crap. The bigger you dream, the longer you stay in your fantasy little world. Those who just do with a simpler goal will be the one that make it. YES, they always ask you to dream big, to aim high. I SAY that is bullshit. You hear one success story and got "WAHHH, i always want to be like him, i should follow his step". OKAY, first of all, what you hear is THE ONE success story, and not the TRILLIONS fail story. Second, if everyone thinks the same as you, the whole world would already be flooded with successful people,but too bad its not. Third, the truth is always ugly, thats why success story are all sugar coated in order to sound more attractive. Don't be so naive.


Okay, LI TI le. anyway, the thing i want to say is, future is not something so focus on monetary point of view. Yes, you want to earn money. But what happens after that? Earn more ah? Future is also not something i can think of in an instant. Future is also something private which i wont want to share with you. Unless you want the standard format answer ( i'm good at it, i went thru A and O level )




have you ever wonder why MOE always want standard answer and not some creative answer that only you can come out with? stay tune to my next "wtf are they thinking about"session.

sometimes i have to constantly lie to myself to keep myself in check. priorities in my life are all confined by the social obligation given by the society i live in.



deep down, there is a few scenes that exists. all i want for my life is to fulfill that few scenes. i never know when these scenes appear, but all i know of this scenes are just bits and pieces.

i know a particular one involved a glass house restaurant near a garden during a rainy night with some light traffic around it, giving the restaurant a mixture of car lights and the orange glow from the streets lamp.

it was only until a few years ago, then i realised the glass house Fish and Co at park mall fit most of the description. But then again, i had that scene in my mind long before i realised the existence of Fish and Co.

In that scene, i was having my meal with someone ( unidentified )

strange... but from then on, streets lamp glow in rainy night entice me more than any scenery.





on a sleepless night like tonight, the best thing to do is to let your mind wander.


dont do what people wants you to do,but do what you want to do at the moment. thats the beauty of life.

http://blog.xuite.net/osaki99/blog/17972900

this depends whether you believe the world can be define by 4 type of character.

A B AB and O

i'm a B (+)

hot tea in a cold night..

lego art is the gay-est shit. it takes detailed planning and all. google for more images.

feel like consolidating a list of my favourites.

favourite movies! i'm a movie fanatics, thought i still insist on not watching low budget movies. Sorry indie producer, you cant earn my money with your pathetic production cost.




Beneath this mask there is more than flesh. Beneath this mask there is an idea,(Mr Creedy) and ideas are bulletproof.







The truth is... I am Iron Man.









King Leonidas: Spartans! What is your profession?
Spartans: HA-OOH! HA-OOH! HA-OOH!
King Leonidas: [turning to Daxos] You see, old friend? I brought more soldiers than you did.

THERE ARE TOO MANY THINGS TO DO. BUT I'M SIMPLY TOO LAZY TO GO ATTEMPT DOING THEM.

ONE MONTH OF LOBO-ING AROUND GOT THE BETTER OF ME.








ALTHOUGH I STILL THINK LIFE GREATEST JOY IS TO WAKE UP ANYTIME YOU WANT TO DO ANYTHING YOU WANT.

AH! SO FAR, LIFE'S BEEN GREAT IN THAT SENSE.

WAD A LONG CCC ( CIVILIAN CONVERSION COURSE )I HAVE.

改变阿宅大计划!


it has begun.

i like the early 90's singapore. it was less complicated.

最近, a lot of my friends are showing more and more signs of being love sick. 感觉上, 他们常常在说自己有多想有一个伴在旁. 那我就奇怪了, 为何我不会有这样的想法呢? 难不成是我太习惯一个人独来独往的感觉了? 难不成丘比特已经把我从他的名单上delete掉了?




想了一想,其实 在无趣的人生里, 偶尔出现一些色彩,也相当不错.

Atkins diet!

what's next?

sometimes the end scares you more than the beginning.

this is hard. no wonder so little people are doing it.

i had just experienced one of the most defining moment of my NS life last week.


it was crazily insanely risky . but i did it!


i felt like i can do anything now! WOAh!

Petronas festival advertisement amazes me. they paid for many heart warming short clips to be telecast as advertisement. it is something similar to the the funeral advertisement about the imperfect couple. all these touching advertisement about families are produced by the late YASMIN AHMAD. go youtube his petronas cny advertisement to watch. it is definitely worth your time and effort. i promise you that they will be better than the elephant, giraffe and monkey coffee shop talk about peanuts.

okay, enough of emo qq.

i'm not good in handling emotions, especially my own. thats why i usually fade out from awkward situation.i tend to try to escape when things get too emotional. i hide all my emotions when i'm outside. i dont like it when people get too close to me, in terms of feeling. when things go wrong, i'll hide myself and try to go to sleep, as if sleeping will allow me to go to a carefree dimension. i choose to throw away bad memories rather than facing it. i'm a coward when things really matter to me. too personal and i'll bail out.


i'd realised that i'd hurt many people because of my incapability of open up myself and my dishonesty with my feelings. i'm sorry to all those that matter.

if you stand still, nothing changes. if you just take a small step forward, things will be different.

got myself a mini checklist.

i need to start a collection hobby.

i need to settle my admin stuff.

i need to clean out the junk.

i need to prepare myself for adulthood.

finally, i have decided to quit my unhealthy lifestyle le. eventually, i have to choose a path for the next few years of my life.

and i have chosen the one that i should have taken years ago.

Once you have established a belief, the phenomenon adjusts its manifestations to support that belief and thereby escalate it.

Two suspects are arrested by the police. The police have insufficient evidence for a conviction, and, having separated both prisoners, visit each of them to offer the same deal. If one testifies (defects from the other) for the prosecution against the other and the other remains silent (cooperates with the other), the betrayer goes free and the silent accomplice receives the full 10-year sentence. If both remain silent, both prisoners are sentenced to only six months in jail for a minor charge. If each betrays the other, each receives a five-year sentence. Each prisoner must choose to betray the other or to remain silent. Each one is assured that the other would not know about the betrayal before the end of the investigation. How should the prisoners act?

City of lost children by YagaK


my ideal.

ITS the GFAT plan!

Get Fit at Tekong!

month of august will be gone in a flash.

the days are short and the week is shorter.

i miss the younger me.

a sudden urge to eat waffle with warm red bean stuffing.

sometimes if you look at things from the other angle, it might seems better than before.

inverting the balloon challenge your rational mind as it gives you an uncomfortable unbalanced feeling.

some people just dont deserve what they have.


fuck.

seriously, some people just dont have common sense.

they just want everyone to give way to them.

and if they dont get what they want, they will whine like baby.


fuck.

i did a little bit of modification.

industrial estate
great depression
grainy black and white

a little bit of colour will change the whole feeling. and it will stand out like stains on a white shirt.

my bunk mates went crazy. and they made me crazy too.

so we end up doing


Standard Chartered Singapore Marathon 2009






we are all crazy.

a cheerful mv to watch after a tiring day of work.

a spectrum is a condition or value that is not limited to a specific set of values but can vary infinitely within a continuum.

the origins of spectrum is a Latin word that means "image" or "apparition" which also include the meaning of "spectre".

in most modern usages of spectrum there is a unifying theme between extremes at either end.

black and white has never been seperated. the infinite colors between the two extreme end has always link them up effortlessly, forming a spectrum of colors.

back. much sooner than expected. this shows that in the army, you can never plan too far ahead.

new day new surprise

which is more important? catalyst, reactants or condition?

i was watching online streaming telecast of KANG XI LAI LE. in one of the episode that is few months back, it was about a group of celebrities talking about their drunken stupor.



it sort of reminds me about that time in bkk. that bad experience is the main reason i'm cutting down on alcohol. 90% reduction in alcohol intake.



but somehow,suddenly i feel like being drunk all over again. hmmm..





21 days away from home awaits me in less than 24 hrs.

i realised the way i plan my book out days is like a wave motion. on some days, i'll have activities packed from morning to night. on the other hand, there are days when i can slack at home and rot inside my room.

black and white. extremes again.

wad is the 9 days quarantine as compare to the 21 days one coming up next week?



this is madness!

no, this is NS!

in my dream, things take place in a very fast tempo.

sometimes i can see the whole life of the person in my dream flash past in just one night.




sometimes i just wish as i can switch character usage.

tormented by the colorful neon lights around him, the main character has gave up the struggle to stay afloat. in the end he was forcefully drag into the black and white world inside the sink hole.

more birds more luck :)

rugby players have good humor.


"We've lost seven of our last eight matches. Only team that we've beaten was Western Samoa. Good job we didn't play the whole of Samoa." - Gareth Davies

optimism at its finest.


Before the New Zealand v England World Cup semi-final: "Remember that rugby is a team game; all 14 of you make sure you pass the ball to Jonah." - Anon fax to N.Z. team (1995)


jonah lomu is a legendary player who can run past the whole opposition team without breaking a sweat.


"Colin Meads is the kind of player you expect to see emerging from a ruck with the remains of a jockstrap between his teeth." - Tom O'Reilly


sounds more like a dog than anything else.

only fools bask in past glories.

Take a look at the ordinary
Don't need to look at Paradise
You could be next to
an angel in disguise
Everyday can be legendary
Every minute, an endless surprise
You could be the next angel in disguise




maybe i should do something very different in order to push myself into another gear.

maybe i should run a marathon?

or maybe go out and get to know someone new?

or keep in touch with old friends?

or start remembering friends' birthdays for a change?



i hate this mundane life.





i want to wake up tomorrow morning and feel kind of new. :)

to prove people wrong.


is a lonelier path that i expected.

u know the feeling where by you cant open the chili pack after tearing up the chicken from kfc?

the feeling where by you run and chase the bus, but the bus didnt stop although you reach the bus stop at the same time as it?

the feeling when you completed your mcq, about to hand it up; and found out that you got the order of answer wrong?

the feeling when you rush home to watch impt soccer match, just to witness a regional long black out?

the feeling when you drop your phone into the toilet bowl; after you use it?

the feeling when you miss the last bus?

the feeling when you withdraw 2k from your bank; and forget to collect it?

the feeling when the team you support relegated because of one own goal?

the feeling when you realised your pants have a big hole at the back; after you got home?








helplessness. lost. sian.

thats me after uni application :(

how do you define beauty?

the most perfect figure? the anime character eye? the flawless face?




model-wannabe look can only capture your attention for a few minutes, but a girl with an unique character charm can capture your entire mind away.




but then again short and cute girls are very delightful to watch also :)
my coy should conduct NE tour for JC more often :) :) :)

i really love books, movies, shows with plots about time traveling. and just recently i found a game about time traveling also! its call chronoton, you can locate it at miniclips. but you are warned, this game kill more brain cells than smoking.


dont you think time travel is such a intriguing concept?



but then again, time travel is a paradox that will never happen.

unless time traveler cant interact with anything when he is traveling, remains invisible, just quietly observing. if not any action he do will cause a butterfly effect, which will change the whole course of history, and create an alternate time dimension.

perhaps time travel will be possible in the future, after defying all physics law, and observing the protocol of time preserving code at the same time. then time traveling will become an alternate and more prefer form of holiday travel.

just imagine you can go back in times with your friends and families to view a historic event first hand. standing beside LKY when he cry on national tv, observe the opening ceremony of changi airport, watch the surrendering march of the british. events like these will be treated like entertainment and learning guide at the same time. history will be redefined. people will not be misguided by false history information. soccer fans can go back in time to see how KELONG some referee can be. perhaps UEFA official can also go back to observe the incidents over again, while standing just beside the keeper, and then give a proper punishment after coming back to the present.

time travel will become a useful tool.

crime rate will fall as no crime will go unpunished, and hidden. there will be no secrets in the world, because you cant hide anything. everyone will be bare naked in front of each other, physically and mentally.

spouses cant cheat on each other without being found out. under the table trading will be prevented. trying to accept bribe is like courting death. furthermore, with the time traveling in place of info comm, mass media will die a tragic death. ( no more propanganda and covering up of truth due to pressure from higher up )

basically you cant run, and you cant hide anything from anyone.





maybe you will cringe in disgust when you think of it now. since human will no longer have any traces of privacy left if my vision of time travel concept really take place in the future.

but being a highly adaptive animal, human will eventually get used to the idea. ( that is after years of protests, riots, suppression from corrupted authority, doubts from concerned authority, religious group and blah blah blah..)

and finally when the dust settled, a new form of clean, awkard society will be created. there will be no secrecy. equality will be created among countries. crime will be suppressed. information sharing has a new definition. regardless whether it is a disaster or a blessing, something for sure is that the society will be redefine, interaction between people will be on a level we'll never understand at this current moment of time.

but seeing the current state of the world now, i doubt it can be much worse.






to sum it up, i'm just talking nonsense again. because knowing people of my own kind, even if time travel is made possible, it will never be launched. there is simply too much implications with it.

so this topic will just go one full circle and end up like the coke bottle situation i previously blogged about.

people in control will never dethrone themselves.










okay, enough of this nonsensical crap from me. give me another 5 more years, and i will be most probably be more concerned with the stock market than the social problems around. i will stop bothering you guys with my stupid idealist thinking anymore.



they call this process maturing.

my shoulder injury have affected me in many ways. one of the most jialat one is that i actually failed low wall during my SOC test this week. The irony thing is i cleared the low rope and swing trainer.

oh my tian, i will take forever to clear SOC if this goes on. If i continue to fail one random obstacles every week, how am i suppose to pass?

i'm wasting my youth away.




being angst and so justice concerned. being so ever blunt and uncontrollable.

but if i just mind my own business, will i still be the edmund you know?

pseudo-democracy.

i just got the worse injury since the rugby injury just one day before i enter SISPEC.

that time was an ankle injury, i twisted it left,right, center. basically it means my whole ankle is loose and swollen at the same time. and the amazing thing is i do all the stuff in SISPEC as per normal. meaning no status, no falling out. with a fuck-ed up right ankle.

stuff that i did can be pretty remarkable.

now i have a suspected popped shoulder, or some shit things happen to my right shoulder. now i cannot lift up my right arm without shouting vulgarities. asking me to point at the bird in the sky with my right arm is an impossible with an I.


lets hope i recover fast. lets hope doctor give me long term att C, i wont mind :)

to think i posted that i siam arrows yesterday.

1 X big homing arrow just hit me today.

sian to the max.

zhong clementi camp arrow.

life is pretty normal for me. the usual buc, the usual siam arrows, the usual weekends.


routine..

stretched to the max. i need a long term att c also!

i found my upperstudy! shifu!

mrbrown! haha.

we are a perfectly regular shape housed in an irregular container.

the gaps between the us and our container are the flaws induced by the society.

we tend to see ourselves with the eye of the society. we think we are poor, by society standard. stupid, by society standard. ugly, by society standard. short, by society standard. sinful, by society standard. but if we can see ourselves as individual, we are perfect in every aspect. but again, we are social animals, we need a form of organised party to survive. in every sense, we are the one who try to squeeze inside the irregular container at the first place, accepting every gaps that follow with it.

we are perfect but yet flawed, flawed but yet perfect.


so next time, before you want to criticise someone, just remember you are the judge and the judged at the same time.

haha, mambo :)

i'm officially man with no vices. lols! unless u consider the small bet and irregular mahjong session. lol.

payday!

remember remember, remember the pioneers.

in every way, it is a walk to remember.







Is it better to be extremely happy for a short time, even if you lose it, than to be just ok for your whole life?





quotes. life. somehow i remember a nostalgic past.

there is a place i will be when i need to seek escape from the world. a oasis among the desert. a old neighbourhood forgotten by time. a place where the sun falls at the horizon, reflecting rays of lights across the water front. like a step back into the early 90's. you will find me there. because that is where i find peace with myself. 050210.

maybe one day we will realise that we are actually living in dark age. lol.

anyway, the organisation is very keen on asking their employee to submit good ideas to help shape a new generation of organisation. BUT THEN, do they actually read our suggestion? or they just want to use it for ISO9001? to show others that they are open to positive feedback? i'm confused by their intention.




we live in a strange world after all.

Men who have no resources within themselves for a good and happy life find every age burdensome, but those who look for happiness within can never think anything bad which nature make s inevitable.

what kind of world do we lived in?

the kind that teacher will have a sexual relationship with her student? despite her being old enough to be his mother? in a chalet resort?

the kind that police officer will accept bribery? well, i guess perhaps maybe since in some country, the president is already arrested for corruption, the police case doesnt seem so severe.

the kind that teenager that havent even finish their primary school education can become parents?

the kind where the bank will cry to the government for bailout at one moment, and enjoying lavish lifestyle and ridiculous pay at the next?

the kind where u can actually pay to have an oversea bride?

the kind where prices of common goods will increase despite the recession? despite the government dedicating much of the budget plan to help these company, hoping that the multiplier effect will move the standstill economy?

the kind where a fight between 2 pop stars can evoked more conversation topics than a murder case?

the kind where people will maimed cats? chop them up just like the curry chicken u have for lunch?

the kind where exam stress can make a person go murderous and suicidal?







queer world hur.




to quote from a conversation in watchmen,
News vendor: "I see the world didn't end yesterday." Kovacs: "Are you sure?"










on a side note, why so serious? its payday today for all nsf :)

in this gray world we are currently living in, the absence of black and white makes extremes unbearable.

black and white are both gray. it is just a matter of perspective.

they spoke of a heaven, where once we all lived and died, sentenced for our sins to this pandemonium we call the world.

to be a better man...

do you ever get this feeling that you are living in this BIG glass bottle that is sardine packed with people.

the whole world you perceive is merely just the interior of the bottle. and occasionally when you happen to squeeze yourself past the human wall, you can look at the outside world via the side of the glass bottle. and then you will wonder what is on the other side of the wall, wondering how come it defer so much from the so called world that all along you are living in. but the moment of thought is not long because as soon as you caught a glimpse of the real world, you will be pushed back by the human wall. just then you are curious about the sight you saw, so you try to squeeze past the human wall again to catch a second glimpse of the scenery beyond the glass wall. this eventually form a motion where everyone is trying to get as close to the wall as possible. like an endless cycle of squeezing, trampling on people, getting pushed back and going back to square one again.

what are we looking for?

the moment of truth? something which is beyond the horizon of our imagination? just what is outside the glass bottle that makes it so special? or are we merely trying to escape from the mundane lifestyle we grow up in? but how far can we escape before we are shoved back to square one? or maybe we don't even realise that the spot we end up in is the exact same spot we started from?


but lets remember, it is a glass bottle. a glass bottle has an opening, right at the top, down the narrow neck of the glass bottle, barely enough space for majority of the people. However, there will be a few lucky one, enlighten one, special one who get a chance to get near to the neck of the bottle.

from there, the world outside is merely a doorstep away. just a little help from below, and perhaps a little strength from their forearm, and poof, they will be out of the glass bottle.

but again, how many actually have the courage to jump out of the container. right now, they are standing on the top of the world. to those beneath them, they are the subject of the envy. some may even regard them as the chosen one. they are standing closer to the outside world, so seek forth by the human wall below their feet, than any other person inside the bottle. but outside the confinement of the glass bottle is a brand new world, a world that might be totally different from the glass bottle. for those on top, stepping out of their comfort zone takes courage. who will be willing to sacrifice the top spot they have, to step into a world that might take everything away from them. outside the glass bottle might be another interior of a bigger glass bottle, climbing out of it might make the top one reverse their position in the bottle society. they might find themselves becoming the human wall of a bigger glass bottle. fear of loss, restrict their advancement. fear of change, stop their movement. fear of the unknown has made them a natural cork for the bottle. because the top one stop moving out, they eventually block the exit of the bottle for everyone below. the cork is formed due to the fact that they are afraid of losing everything they have.

due to the natural cycle of human shoving, some top one will be replaced, but even those newly ascended people will stop in the tracks in view of the avalanche of change coming for them if they uncork the bottle and move out.

so what is outside the glass bottle? is it an idea? a new world? a place people perceive as heaven? or is it merely a fragment of our imagination?

have you spent so long as a human wall inside the bottle that you forgot of the endless possibility outside? or is it you are enlighten enough to seek the truth, but found yourself hindered by the people around you and also the cork? or is it you lack the courage to even open your heart to understand what is actually going on?

in the end, do you even know what is outside? or is it, you are just following the inevitable push of the crowd around you. or perhaps, you are just satisfied with staying in the same spot forever.

for those who seek for the exit, do you have the courage to step out of it? or the selflessness to come back to tell the glass bottle world, what lies outside the delicate glass prison they lived in. or maybe they wont even believe your words.

to each his own, maybe having a unreachable imaginary goal in their life can fuel the human world better than anything else. just don't burst their thoughts. let them have hope?

hope for?







do you even understand what i am talking about? maybe it is time for you to continue to squeeze towards the glass wall.



this is just an abstract idea that is yet to be refined.

20 le.

下雨天! the song i listen to almost every time i pick up my psp.

lara's voice just relax you and makes you feel like going back to those nostalgic old days.

go to this link to hear it LIVE! she is super cute when she sing the high note.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPBPtl1Kd_k

because you cant have everything in life, so you have choices to make

trust me, if you were me, you have every reason to be grumpy.

11 JAN and i'm still in service. nothing changes.

as usual, my deployment off has been cancel because of last minute deployment.

nothing special, pretty normal to me le.

i swear i can store off until i need not come to camp for weeks. but of course that will never happen because somehow those off will get burn also.

and NO, they dun pay me extra for overtime work. as usual the organisation is very good at exploiting human labour. wad to do? find the MOM meh? ( THERE ARE SOMETHING IN LIFE THAT YOU CANT FIXED )

there are 4 stages of compliance to the work assigned by the organisation.

first YOU COMPLAIN AMONG YOURSELVES
second YOU TRY TO FEEDBACK
third YOU TRY TO GET THE ATTENTION BY MAKING A LOT OF FUSS OVER IT
fourth YOU JUST LAN LAN SUCK THUMB

when all things fail, you can only sulk and do the work silently.




i'm at the fourth stage.

OKAY, its the 9 jan, and i'm still working for army. nothing more, nothing less.

i think i'm quite a driven man. when i fixed my target on something, i will just YAO JING YA GUAN go do one. like constructing a 10 coil, i just do and do and do and do. in the mind, everything become blank except driving in the iron picket. ( MIND YOU, there is 30 1.8 iron picket and 20 0.8 picket. and try using a monkeyram for all 30 1.8m picket yourself )

it applies for rugby too, when i take the ball, i often run straight and try to bash my way through. ( yes, to me straight is the shortest distance travel, and beside i cant really side step ) to me bashing straight through a bunch of fat man in tight jersey seems very normal DURING THE GAME. but that reckless action also leads to many tries.

so i shall be driven, and focus on 14122009. the day when army finally ORD me.

P.S you dun escape from army once you ORD, ORD doesnt means you can walk free, it is OPERATIONALLY READY DATE. EVEN when you ORD, you are still their man. your blood is still green, although maybe your uniform is of different colour already.

they say u should never write a new year resolution when u are not in a state of stable mind. i agree. but i shall try to suppress the angsty feeling in me for a few minutes.

but b4 i carry on, i must say something

FUCKINGBLOODYDUCKCHICKENGOOSEPORKBEEFJGJSDHGJKHAGHADJHCHEEBININACHICHICH

the feeling i feel right now is like you miss 4D first prize by one digit, like you miss A by half a mark, like you complete a tedious work assignment and suddenly everything got deleted and you forgot a save a backup copy.

something like that.
















back to new year resolution. or rather new year prediction. it is some sort of a tradition for me, every year i will make a prediction of the near future.

last year my prediction of 2008 is the year of change. whereby your circus of friends change, your lifestyle change, your habit change, your character change.

true enough, i gained some friends and lost many.
i serve army and has a weird lifestyle.
i started clubbing, and stop, and start to coop up at home on every weekend.
i start to be more grumpy and doubtful of things.
my house oso change as it is newly renovated on a small scale.
EVEN US president become obama with his CHANGE is coming campaign.

i cant remember 2007 one, but you can always go find the archive. some way or another, the new year prediction will make sense.

this year, 2009, the prediction is that it is the year of pain.

yes, pain.

2009. where many stuff i have are scarified.

things important to you will be taken away from me.
things not important to you will still be taken away from me.
lang lang suck thumb will be use very often by me, on me, for me.


but pain comes with gain.

more pain, more gain. they say the greatest pleasure on earth is whats comes after the toughest shit.







on a side note, i just burned new year. and i am going to burn chinese new year. HIGH 5!

i need a life.

when i ord, so do my platoon.

engineer is withdrawn from 6 sir.





my life is so routine!

bookout, on com, read manga, go buy lunch and rent dvd, watch dvd, read manga again, watch tv at night, den sleep, den wake up, on com, eat breakfast. read manga, buy lunch and rent dvd again, read manga, den watch tv, den prepare to book in.

AND i eat the same niong dao fu for every meal i takeaway.

MY LIFE IS SO seriously boring that i think been in camp is more interesting.




i should just rot somewhere.





on a side note, i went to night safari yesterday.

soon, we will see the commander side of everyone in bunk.

who is the good one? who is the strict one? who is the plain fucked up one?






people change under different circumstances, under pressure, under power.

anyway i have no idea why people will think that i will become the fucked up sgt of the platoon, i'm a kind and caring and loving person by nature :)

but i cant stand slow movement and poor image.

i'm in a Knusperflakes mode.

why is it i can never never never never ever have a good haircut?

is it a curse?

if only my hair wont grow when it is at my prefer length.



all the signs are in place. what is left is to link up all the points.

a rainy day

a heart wrecking korean dvd

perfect.

what kind of life do you vision yourself to be leading in the near future?

people said that between 20-25, it is the period of time where you seek to find the true you. where you determine your whole life. in that short 5 year span, everything that u dream of in the past of the future might be totally different.

i'm a person who live in the future. i always use future as a lifeline, as something to hold on to. to me, having something to look forward to means everything.

they always said in the end it will all be fine. if it is not fine, it is not the end yet.




the short 5 year to determine your future is heading my way now. at full speed.

back from the land of dim sum.

going to take a lot of shit for the next few weeks.

even my new year is schedule to be in forest.




but its not like i got any plan to start with.



i'm not independent by nature, it is just that i grow up without anyone to depend on.

i'm not strong by nature, it is just that the environment doesnt allow me to be weak.

i'm not confident by nature, it is just that people around me lack self belief.

i'm not idealistic by nature, it is just that i cant stand the mindset of the majority.

i'm not stubborn by nature, it is just that i stand by my view more loyally than others.

i'm not rash by nature, it is just that i cant stand the delay caused by slow action.


its not nature, its nurture. darwin's law of evolution.

D day H hour.

Let the adventure begin.

人 生 就 像 一 場 戲 ， 因 為 有 緣 才 相 聚 。

相 扶 到 老 不 容 易 ， 是 否 更 該 去 珍 惜 。

為 了 小 事 發 脾 氣 ， 回 頭 想 想 又 何 必 。

別 人 生 氣 我 不 氣 ， 氣 出 病 來 無 人 替 。

我 若 氣 死 誰 如 意 ， 況 且 傷 神 又 費 力 。

鄰 居 親 朋 不 要 比 ， 兒 孫 瑣 事 由 他 去 。

吃 苦 享 樂 在 一 起 ， 神 仙 羨 慕 好 伴 侶 。


why so serious?

D day minus one.

nothing is done yet. habis.

probably when i'm older..
i'll think back to this moment. It will be like those fireworks, appearing all of a sudden, then disappearing.
and it will leave...
a memory in my heart

the future we chose.

i love the smell of rain.

i love the sound of raindrop.

i love to look out of the raindrop tainted window.

on course.

my life mainly consist of PSP and ONEMANGA now. sian.

went out with casper they all yesterday. watched the 20 century boys, its nice, and addictive. i dunno about how the rest feel considering that i already finish the whole manga series le.

throughout the whole show i was just comparing it to the manga itself. for people who never finish the series, it is just one whole long mystery movie whereby the truth will only reveal in the last part of trilogy.

i recommend it to people who appreciate mystery movie, but u can read the manga for a better experience. unlike the movie where the plot is arranged to be as smooth flowing as possible, the manga is actually one whole stretch of flashbacks here and there. it can be confusing, but the amazing thing is that as the series goes, you can actually make sense out of it. its amazing how after perhaps 4 years, the author can link back to the original first few chapters. not bad considering that the author only come out with at most 2 chapters per week. wad a incredible story plotting mind.

i lived in the past

in babylonian period

under the hammurabi's code

lex talionis







law is a seemingly sophisticated piece of art created for the educated to ride on top of those of little education.

there is a limit to patience.



powerless because of the rank system.



i'm still a barbarian after all.

i need a b r e a k.

office politics is tiring.

it seems like i have a grudge with the newly posted in YSL.

still unhappy with some old L.


this is never ending. due to our different nature of work and even the arms badge on our uniform is different, cohension in SD coy is impossible.

no one wants to say it out blatantly, but it is true, there is no way we can work as one.

i dun even know half of the people in my coy, and thats on the commanders level only.

ohmytian. the world is so sick. people with things on their shoulder trying to push the blames around when things happen, and eventually passing the bomb to those innocent chevron. this is so ugly.

all my childhood vision of the organisation is gone. the truth hurts. edmund is seriously unhappy about it, but he cant do much. it is not within his power to change anything, he is too weak, he draws 760 a month only; all he can do is to wait for the day he can shout ORD LO.

at one point, all this craziness got to stop.


i'm just waiting for the right opportunity to withdraw.


then i will embraced myself for the battle of my life, for the future.


a life with a dream is like a missile with a homing device.





speaking about dreams, i have a couple of memorable dream this past week. i believe dreams are a form of human inborn ability to predict the future, just like deja vu. one dream involve me going for recee course, ENGINEER RECEE?. another is a more special one. amazingly special.

a walk down the shelter walkway in a unknown hdb estate. running to the block in rain. reaching a block which is just beside a big grass patch. its a walk of discovery. c

i seek serenity in dream. away from this crazy and sick world.

from now till then, to infinity and beyond

stuff that I NEED

a new pair of sneaker
a new belt

HELLO, shopping trip anybody?

COS tmr. wad de shit. cos is similar to soc. soc is 10 minutes of suffering. cos is 24hr of suffering.
hello, pandan cake ah, stop torturing cos.

first weekend i had for quite some time. the last 4 weekend were plagued by ahm, cos, fever and atp. wad the shit..

had been seriously thinking about retaking a level. i set my goal le, but i had not build my foundation yet. everything about the a level has been completely erased le, i cannot remember a single stuff about chemistry. i think i can give a better explanation on the usage of class 30 as compared to economics.

sometime this year i will have to pick up the books again. i feel that been posted to 6 sir is a strong sign for me to pick up studies again.

but first i must have the courage to turn the cover page of tys again. oh my tian


on a side note, pandan cake is in charge now. habis. things look like they are changing. for bad or for good is totally subjective.













the light will always be on

okay, after one weekend of range, the verdict is.......

I'M A BOBO!

lols. 25/32 for day and 5/16 for night! smlj! i cant shoot :(

there is always a hundred and one excuse for not hitting the target, but then all of them can sum up under one big reason. YOU ARE A BOBO!


okay. new month. ( my month starts on every payday ) old pay. 8 days of leaves and 1.5 days of off to clear before end of year. considering that dec will be quite busy, those leaves will be clear within the next two month.

I'M FREE FOR clubbing on weekday! anyone? lols.

might MIGHT MIGHT be going oversea with my bunk mates. now still debating whether is hk or vietnam. YUP, VIETNAM! woohoo.. springroll...



i need excitement! life is so bored. maybe i should go for airborne course. hello 6 sir, are u looking?

i devote all my time now to challenge my limit. both physically and mentally.


the edmund like nothing on earth.

woooo.....




my bunk mate starts to wonder whether i'm a retard or an idiot.

eva~~~~

i'm bored. with everything i do. i need some spice.

COME! INDIAN SPICE, SALT, SEA SALT, VINEGAR, SUGAR, ROCK SUGAR, PEPPER, TABLE SUGAR, SWEETLESS SUGAR, SALTY SALT, TASTELESS SALT, CHILLI, TOMATO, BITTER TOMATO, SWEET CHILLI, GARLIC, GINGER...

ANYTHING!

i'm bored.

with that i conclude this chapter of my life. the message was brought across to you, i'm contented already.

wad i truly want was a conclusion. i knew wad was coming, i just dun want myself to have any more second thoughts.

thanks for the start and thanks for the end.

finally finish sum ex le. ex transformer! not as tired as i expected it to be. but nevertheless it was a new experience for many people to have min. sleep during the 3d2n exercise. the ever changing weather was not good for my skin at all. it is damn bad.

clubbing at zouk later with some of the platoon mates.

recently had been clubbing quite often. to many people, it might seem like a place where all the vices gather. but to some, its a place where u can forget the miserable life you are leading.

you know you had sunk to the bottom when you stop comparing your life with others.

field engineers.. dont they have some welfare quality control in SAF?

just finish one exercise yesterday. went back home with 56 mosquitoes bites. shit. u should had seen my right hand, it totally looks like the super big hand of hellboy.


2 more exercise and i will pass out as field engineer specialists le. endure and excel!

if characters and manners are the main quality in identifying SAF leaders,

if academic results and physical fitness are not the main quality in deciding their posting,

how many of them can actually keep the rank they are holding now?




wake up your idea people. this world is sick. and there is no cure to it.

i'm having a bad lucks spree recently. i'm like a bad luck magnet. dun come near me, your bad luck will be pass to me one de.


i'm dead serious.

i like to take a stroll.

散步就是該懶散地走路，不需要走直線，也不需要趕時間，走著走著，有時會想通一些事情。

i like the feeling of taking my time, enjoy the scenery and let my mind sort itself out.

really hate rushing here and there. i dun understand, why is the point in rushing to book out? the time is already yours to enjoy.

my father used to walk super slow oso, he liked to walk behind all of us whenever we go out. he insisted that there is no point in walking so fast mah. i used to disagree. people who know me since sec sch knows that i'm that kind that will rush from schedule to schedule. i can pack my whole day with activities, totally indulging in meeting the deadline, rather than the process. i have change that bad habit le. sometimes, walking slowly isnt that bad after all.



i realise as i grow older and older, i have become more and more like my father.

finally cesc is coming to an end. whichever unit i get posted to after this for specialisation will be make known to us next wed.

hope i will be in CBRD, if not like a bit wasted my 2 weekends in sispec and the interview with the " crabs"

i have totally no luck with soccer betting. one whole stretch of bad luck just shows that i should cut down on gambling. oh wells, just 15 bucks more for euro and i'm out the game le. it started with 50 bucks though. lets hope the remaining 15 bucks can result in some miracle. lols.

people come and people go.

life still sucks. i seriously suspect that's because i'm in SAF. BUT THEN, no choice mah. have to defend the country from constant threats. so u people outside the force better listen up, dun ever insult the SAF, the only one who can do that is perhaps the people in it.

sometimes we can do with a little bit of encouragement :)

please give all nsf more leaves! 14 days a year is not enough ah!


but staying at home too late at one shot can be quite boring oso. so i suggest a proposal to the SAF, give us 4 days work week only. with that, i edmund me myself will be very happy. yeah.


no uni wants me yet, i think my future looks very bleak now. must start saving money for the future le, so those who still owe me money, pls pay up. if u are reading this n3, most probabaly you owe me money la, maybe u forget le, but i still remember. so kindly pass the money to me. yeah!

p.s eh,each of you at least owe me $100 ah.


anyway, i'm in combat engineer. i think i shall use that for my future uni application next time. maybe it will help me get into engineering. yeah.

i think i had forget wad is it like to feel happy.

We have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints; we spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less

We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time; we have more degrees, but less common sense; more knowledge, but less judgement; more experts, but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness

We spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too seldom, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom We have multiplied our possesions, but reduced our values

We talk too much, listen so too seldom, love too little and lie too often We've learned how to make a living, but not a life; we've added more years to life, not life to years We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but have less communication; we've become long on quantity, but short on quality

We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbour We've conquered outer space, but not inner space; we've done larger things, but not better things; we've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul; we've split the atom, but not our prejudice; we write more, but learn less; plan more, but accomplish less

We've learned to rush, but not to wait; we have higher incomes; but lower morals; more food but less appeasement; more acquaintances, but fewer friends; more effort but less success

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; tall men and short character; steep profits, and shallow relationships

These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare; more leisure and less fun;more kinds of food, but less nutrition. these are days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken homes

These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one-night stands, oveerweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill

It is a time when there is much in the shop window, and nothing in the stockroom

Indeed it's all true. think about it. read it again.



to think i posted this n3 close to 3 years ago. 3 years later, i still feel the same.

sometimes things around me just make me wonder whether our standard of living are improving or dropping? its true that we got bigger cars, better houses, more chimilogy portable game device, more expensive rice now.

but does that equal to improved life?



wad do u seek for in ur life? money? power? knowledge? wad is the reality? people comment that one should always be realistic, so basically our life is like this endless cycle of earning money, raising children, supporting family, educating children, withdrawing CPF, giving children money so that they can grow up to repeat the same old cycle i had been thru.

endless cycle.



is there more to life?

okay, take away the christian aspect of the video. have u ever wonder how are u going to lead ur life? follow the basic cycle that has being there since the end of ice age?

army for the 22nd week le, so far i have experience 5 different stages of feelings in army, with the stage one one in bmt and so on.

STAGE ONE: Better do, in case kenna fuck
STAGE TWO: think do a GILAT one then wont get fuck
STAGE THREE: Do for what? either way oso kenna fuck
STAGE FOUR: Kenna fuck until sian le, just do la
STAGE FIVE: bobian...

haish. i already reach a "bobian, just do,suck thumb" stage le leh!
WHEN IS MY ORD AH!

i'm losing my sanity in army le... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh




i'm in combat engineer specialist training wing by the way.

SHAG AH! STUPID company squeezing all the outfields things to the last 2 weeks of course.

HELMET, LBV, RIFLE 24/7 ! plus signal set 77 and combat rationS on friday. i guess i'm really am a cargo plane. PLUS GOING TO CHECKPOINT ZULU! oh wtf.... i cant believe my detail actually bash through that kind of vegetation.

but then finally clear 1 week of hell

next week it will be worse.

oh crap.


today is may10.























FREAKING LONG TO ORD!

The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting
Could it be that we have been this way before
I know you don't think that I am trying
I know you're wearing thin down to the core

But hold your breathe
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
Your impossible to find

This is not what I intended
I always swore to you i'd never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may of failed
But I have loved you from the start
Ohhhh







sometimes i really just want to travel back in time to undo things. back to days where subway cookies can make your day.













everything is different now.

hate the kind of life in which u are looking forward to the end of everything. like the morning when u wake up, the only thing u look forward in the day is to sleep again at night. like when u book in on sunday night, the only thing u look forward is to book out at the end of the week. it is so meaningless. pointless. precious time is wasted on days like that. i'm already in my last year of "teens" le. i dun want to look back in my life 20 years down the road and think about the time i wasted on such meaningless days.

and since meaningless days are inevitable, we all just have to spice up the meaningless days. to create some memorable moments in my life, to bring along these memories into my grave.

life is just like a movie. it will end after the climax. you can't choose when it will end, but you can decide how much you enjoy the climax.

its not about loving a perfect person, its about falling in love perfectly with an imperfect person.

ECHO! lols. probably the best company in sispec. hahahx. have been enjoying my time in sispec so far.

7 more weeks to the end, but i will cherish everyday spent at echo.

tuck in! lols. ( this is a restricted thing, so cannot talk too much about it.. if u wanna know me can call me. hahahx )

i love quotes. i like those little quotes pasted in the toilet of army camps. it gives me motivation when the going gets tough. back in bmtc, i rmb this quote is " a smooth sea doesnt make a skilful sailor " .. now another quotes that strike me in echo coy is " people do not lack strength, they lack will "

" aspire to inspire " thats wad every future leader should do.

just read thru my old n3 in this blog. lols. cant help but to admit i'm old le. lols. 19, last year of teenage life. i shall spent it as a 3SG.

with pride we lead!

and to my frens who are quite disappointed in their posting, especially those who wanna go ocs, share this with you.

rank is what you wear. appointment is what you hold. respect is what you earn.

and if u think sispec is full of shit, wait till u go out to work. mwhahahahx.

everybody have their own dreams. i had a buddy who wants to work in the sound system industry, another who wants to work for apple. with the results they get, i think they stand a high chance of achieving their dream. it is just a matter of whether during the journey of the life, their dream will sway due to the temptation of earning more money.

i have my dream too. i want to be a global trekker. to experience the world. thats why from the past till now, although my ambition for my future job keep changing, it has never shift away from the common point between them. and that is to allow me to travel around the world. i want to see how people in other country live, peek at their daily routine, enjoy their home cooked food. it is my dream to roam around freely. it is also my selfish thought to leave everything behind in Singapore and make a great escape.

i am just like a kite waiting to break loose. waiting for the wind to set me free.

totally screwed it up man.

its funny how ur whole life can be screwed up with just 5 alphabet. mainly C. fucked up. my vision of my future had never seem so blur before.

BUT THEN FUCK IT MAN! if plan A doesnt work, i will execute plan B. i believe a smooth sea doesnt make a skilful sailor.

so fucking hell, i'm off to become a skilful sailor le.

Closed off from love
I didn't need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you're frozen

But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melts into the ground
Found something true
And everyone's looking round
Thinking I'm going crazy

But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling

But nothing's greater
Than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I'm going crazy, maybe, maybe

But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

And it's draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I'll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see

I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love


like the song a lot! keep hearing it at cookhse, but just now wad song it is. Until recently then i got hold of it and know its title.

i realised since the end of A level till now, i have changed a lot. like my prediction earlier this yr, 2008 is really a year full of changes for me.




if u think i'm still the same guy as before, it must had been a very long time since u contact me. yeah.

and A level results is coming out le. at least before my POP. damn bloody nervous la!

school days seem so distant away. i wanna go back to SCHOOL! go back to play rugby! go back to pon lesson! go back to canteen break! go back to my groups of frens!go back to 06s25! go back to orientation! go back to be ogl! go back to be camper! go back to first 3 mths! go back to LT5! go back to PE porch! go back to JJ!

i oso want to go back to rv! back to pandan! go back to teban! go back to aloe vera ice! go back to SSC! go back to scouts! go back to scouts room! go back to kenna fuck by ASL! go back to fooling ard in nurse like uniform! go back to suffer in pain under chinese lit text book! go back to canteen break! go back to commonwealth! go back to dessert shop! go back to 1b,2b! go back to 3e,4e! go back to rot!

go back to every little single things that make up my memories in the past 6 years!

but i cant. cause the tide of time doesnt permit me to do that. now all i can do is to look forward. look ahead and treasure my time now, so that many years down the road, i wont have to blog again to say "i wanna go back to army life!"

but still i kinda miss those little simple stupid stuff i did in the past.

this is wad they call memories.

fucked up.



it sucks to know that i cant afford to be weak at any moment.



i feel like the last tree standing, with all the other trees leaning on me.

once i fall, everything else will also crumble down beside me.

i feel like the last pillar standing, supporting the fallen building.

with all the pressure crushing onto my shoulder.


fighting the war myself.

this is a fucked up feeling.


when can i smile without worries again?







i must had lost my key to my getaway car...

是否还记得 一起看烟火
我在你眼里 看到闪烁
冷冽的寒风 把你吹向我
抱你在我怀中 没想太多
爱情里的心动
常常让我难以去捉摸
付出感情太多
原来多情人总被伤的最重
想起你的拥抱这感觉 短暂纪念
在你我之间
有时说变就变 就像烟火
下一秒消失不见
想起你的微笑这画面 短暂纪念
放在心里面
你说过的永远 留在昨天
就当它是 我最美的纪念

我的心情今天已换了季
天边出现彩虹
晴朗阳光洒在我的天空闪烁 Oh~~
像是笑着告诉我爱到最后是宽容
想起你的拥抱这感觉 短暂纪念
在你我之间
有时说变就变 就像烟火
下一秒消失不见
想起你的微笑这画面 短暂纪念
放在心里面
你说过的永远 留在昨天
就当它是 我最美的纪念
还有你陪我走过这一切
记忆中你 那些微笑的脸



life is really like a firework. just a blink of eyes and 19 years had pass.

during the 19 yrs, my social circle has change and change and change. some friends stay,while some faded off.

it seems like just yesterday when we were singing "graduation" at rv audi at the end of sec 2 life.
and talking about our future many years down the road.

a lot a lot more emotion. all about how much things had changed during the past 6 years of my life.

had a lot of crushes, but none work out. hahax. still enjoying 19 yrs of singlehood.

had a lot of falls, but i managed to stand up again and again.

had my fair share of glory too.






what a journey it has been so far...

10 years from now, when i look back at my life again. i wonder how i will feel.

不做考虑也没半点犹豫
我就说了这一句我等你
你眼中闪过了一些压抑
更多的是怀疑所以你可以离去
不相信你还会回心转意
是我任性才决定要等你
我眼中的泪没掉过一滴
只是随你背影
慢慢倒流进心里
我等你
半年为期
逾期就狠狠把你忘记
不止是伤心的还包括一切甜蜜
要等你
要证明自己我可以纵容你在心里
也可以当你只是路过的人而已



i wonder how are you now?

book out for 24 hrs.

field camp is so over and done with.

i miss every single things outside. especially you.

booking in later.

blog more on next book out. hopefully it will be on tuesday.

你習慣晚點睡 我跟著你熬夜
你討厭咖啡 我就放棄這香味

你喜歡走的路線 左右我的世界
你躲在黑夜 我陪你背對明天

我變成空白鍵 只為你改變
直到在愛里看 我已不見
才發現 只有你向前

當你的抱歉 給不了安慰
我知道時間不會 再給我們機會

當你的眼淚 換不回心碎
我明白開始著了解
孤單都是因為 我們的愛已后退


wad would our future holds?
hard to imagine few years from now, everyone that u know would soon change. innocent times is over before u even realise

last weekend b4 CNY. fucked up. field camp plus sit test. with just a small book out in between for u to wash ur dirty, muddy, sandy, wet clothes. and worse till celebrating birthday in the jungle! this sucks.

in army for 5 weeks le. if i'm the enhanced batch, i'm already preparing for ippt and POP le. due to the long period of time spent in camp as compare to outside, ur mind would start to work in a military way. for example, bringing down a 11B to go buy food at kopitiam. start to put ur shoes below ur bed. looking around for mosquito net when u sleep at home.


i WANT TO GO OUT! JIO ME PLS! eh, maybe during CNY that period. till then i will be in the forest. feeding mosquito.

i swear never to play a rugby match before booking in. almost die of fatigue the next day.

SIAN AH! 1 mth into army le.

going to get marry at ladang next week. rifle *******, here i come. (i cant remember the serial code ah)

i rmb almost every end of the year i will post a n3 about the review of the year.

this year had been an eventful year. up and down. up and down. just like a roller coaster ride.

hope nxt year i will have a much less rocky ride.

2007 is oso a thinking year. think about A level, think about people, think about life, think about family.




something i learn in 2007. you are stronger than you think you are.




2008 shall be a year of change. old habits will be change. new healthier habits will be adopted. people around me will change. relationships with people will change. social circle will change. goals will change. ambitions will change. body will change. mind will change.


before i end my last n3 of 2007. i just want to let you know.

your name is still nicest :) in my phone.

maybe something wont change afterall.

I, I don't know why I miss you so much
Yeah I, I don't know why I still feel your touch
You, you left me feeling high and dry
With nothing, nothing but the question why

Yeah you, I guess you had another direction
And leaving me with nothing but a dead connection

Chorus:
If you call me today
I'll say that I'm fine
But I bet you can tell by the tone of my voice
It's just a lie
You knew what you had
You still walked away leaving me in this mess
My love for you is deep and meaningless

You, you knew what you were doing to me
And I, I guess I was too blind to see
Well you hit where it hurt and you fooled me so bad
But I'd do it again to relive what we had
(Damn that's sad)

There are many things left to remind me
Of a love that I just can't leave behind me


nice song. keep thinking about this song while working. pretty boring when working, plus got a lot of free time for you to ponder over things. it is in army where you know wad u truly want. pride aside. face aside. take ur raw emotion out, thats the thing u seek. the things u ponder about every night. the person u think about every night.









p.s turns out my blood type is B(+)

Roughly 9% of the world is B +ve

Cheerful, Optimistic, Active, Sensitive, Kind, Forgetful, Noisy, Egocentric

Energetic and have the drive to reach towards goals. May be workaholics. Not the best team players and are individualistic. Do things at one's own pace. Strong personality adventurous. Likes to get one's own way. Are Sociable and enjoy entertaining.

3 more days and i will be off to the northern island. haish.

GOODBYE HAIR
GOODBYE PINK IC
GOODBYE WEEKDAYS

FOR THE NEXT 2 YEARS.




just wanna blog. i'm a decisive person, and i am very stubborn with my own belief one. if i think that things works like tt, i am persistent with it. but if u can prove me wrong, i will gladly accept it de. i am not that stubborn as i'm open to new views de.

but if u cant be certain enough of ur own stand to challenge me, pls dont say i'm wrong. because u havent prove urself right yet.

if u think i'm wrong, prove it.

这首为你点播的歌
如果我先哭了
怎么唱到最后

是的感情不是k歌
音阶一字不漏
不见得感动

我也懂拿麦的手不能颤抖
曾握着就能感受你比我难过
谁写的歌词那么适合放手
我怎能舍不得

我努力唱完主歌
我忘了走音没有
我到底哭什么
哭什么明明搞笑的

我努力唱好朋友
我忘了是谁哭了
就算你不记得
这首歌唱完的是我

这首为你点播的歌
如果我先哭了
怎么唱到最后

是的感情不是k歌
音阶一字不漏
不见得感动

我也懂拿麦的手不能颤抖
曾握着就能感受你比我难过
谁写的歌词那么适合放手
我怎能舍不得

我努力唱完主歌
我忘了走音没有
我到底哭什么
哭什么明明搞笑的

我努力唱好朋友
我忘了是谁哭了
就算你不记得
这首歌唱完的是我

我努力唱完这歌
我忘了破音没有
你心里触动的
下一首已经不是我

我努力唱到嘶吼
我不怕剩我一个
只要你能记得

这首歌给我最爱的你

due to the invasion of a single person oso known as ED. i had decided to take down my tagbox. u better be careful! cause ur tagbox is still up!


army in 10 days time.

hello. havent had the chance to blog since the finishing of A level.

it has been a rather busy week. and amazingly the past 8 days seems quite long.

had been going thru quite a lot of farewell recently. my 06s25 chalet,3E4E dinner, prom, ventures rod.

3e4e dinner at jec pizza hut! oh crap, i bet i wont see most of them ever AGAIN in my life. some are going over to US to study, so are already there studying. but it was fun to get together with them even though 1 am not really that close to some.

class chalet was fun. we were busy playing mahjong, psp, xbox, I NEVER, true and dare ( wad the! ) and blackjack. typical chalet activities ah. sometimes i think chalet are really chance for people to come together, so anti social activity like psp should be ban! hahax. anyway thru out the chalet i was telling everyone that it might just be the last time we see each other before we go back to take A level result. lols.

at prom, it is confirm that it will be the last time i see the bulk of my class before i get enlisted. prom was fun. although it was quite rush for me. had to rush to chalet after that. AND TO THINK I GOT LOST IN SENTOSA FINDING A WAY OUT. WAD THE.
but i eventually manage to reach the chalet on the last bus there. lols. but a bit wasted that i didnt go for post prom party. but then ventures rod was fun too! even though it was relatively quite a lousy event. hahax

imagine my shock when i go there just to see 10 people oni, with some half dead somemore! lols. but polar bear game was fun. it might just become a cult in ventures! just like the famous huifang's haha game. kongaik and jireh came down too even though they had school the next day. thanks! but then ventures rod was never a farewell party for us. the few of us jireh, yan, hung, cephas, casper, jieli has been through so much together for the past 6 years. and ventures or not, we still see each other like every now and then la. YI GE NIAN! no frens in jc or wad can be traded for any one of them.

scouts for 6 years. soccer. john huang. chng. huibang. ek. jobweek. fags. singapore pools. cephas house. lao ren. belly. lee bee lian. ycm... as brothers, we share too much memories together and i am certain we will always be close to each other. 6 years is 1/3 of my life till now. thats one hell of a long period of time.

hey, even though we are no longer scouts, we no longer do jobweek, wear that stupid red wtf scarf, wear a scouts belt ( okay, maybe except kongaik ), we are still brothers. and oso rmb something? once a scouts is always a scouts. lols. wad crap.

till next time!






and also i just realised. my jc life has finally come to a full stop. another chapter of my life is finish and now i shall wait for the next one to open. would u be in my next chapter?

the end is finally near. FINALLY! My holiday is seriously packed. i have only 25 days to play, to fool around, to get super high... before i take a short ferry ride to a sunny northern island and stay there for a few weeks. HOLY!

tmr by this time, i would be putting all my books in a big box and seal it up with a super strong tape.

on A level result day, if my result is good enough, i would start a big bon fire with the box. holy. and everyone will start to sing campfire songs.







"men go to far greater lengths to avoid what they fear than to obtain what they desire"
-Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code

the one who fear A level the most would excel. provided he dun give up on himself first.

no flashy background, no colourful pictures, no blasting music.

first attempt in bleaching my blog. hahax.

"The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want." -Ben Stein

i admit. i have a huge obsession with counting downs. 9474 minutes to A level for physics students!

dream are the subconsious of your mind and bring upon that deeply buried feeling in ur heart.i have a lot stress induced nightmares lately. it's actually quite scary when u see Ka, Kp, Ksp, Kb, Kw jumping around like small gnomes. i had never imagine myself having such low confidence before. maybe a change to my usual exam-come-edmund-scrap attitude can help me this time.

3 days more to my end of 12 years of uniformed education. no more uniform, no more national anthem, no more strict school rules. i realised a lot of jj ppl complain about jjc system. HAHHAHAX. TILL THEY SEE RV!

bye.

i hate people who look down on people. i feel fucked up the whole of today. if u are going to carry the i-dun-believe-you-can-do-well-for-A-but-u-can-try-to-go-for-a-pass-instead to teach me, i think i'm better off on my own.

i know its my fault for screwing up the prelim, but i will not let you define my potential. you are not the one to judge my capability.

ahhhhhhhhhh.......

i feel lousy. its midnight le. emo time shall stop. only the desire to slap an A on her face continues.

sianz.

i lost sight of the way leading out.

ask what you can do for others, rather than wad others can do for you.

i thought i saw this when i was studying chemical energetics

the standard enthalpy change of examination

is the enthalpy change which occurs when one mole of edmund is completely defeated by examination under standard conditions.

sometimes i think that its good to be patrick star. den i do not have to worry about studies, money, love, family and blah blah... u see living under a rock, having a sponge as ur best fren, and being utterly spastic is quite fun.

i rmb one episode showing patrick working in krabby krab ( a restaurant under water in bikini bottom ) ( somehow u can cook something under water..hmmm... ) anyway, he was asked to unscrew a bottle....and he took a whole day to do that. when he finally unscrewed the bottle, he was so happy that he took the bottle and did a NFL touch down, and that bottle broke. that was the first and last time he work there.

life being a patrick must be great. i dun even have to pay housing tax. my hse is just a rock! and my best fren is sponge, and my best fren's pet ( snail plus cat ) gary loves me. and i get to sing campfire songs...

stress..

wouldn't it be nice if world is...

wad is ur vision of a perfect world? a world without A level?

at any point of our life, we will wish that there is something less or something more in the world we are living in now. all these somethings are things we feel will improve our world, and make it a better place. hahax.

wad would ur world look like?

who ever coined the word SAD has over estimate the coverage of a single word. it is far more complicated than just a mere 3 letters word.

Einstein once said " holding one's hand over a hot stove for 5 minutes feels like 1 hour. Speaking to a pretty girl for 1 hr feels like 5 minutes. This is relativity. "

been interacting with this word RELATIVITY pretty often this few weeks. it seems to me tat it is actually a large part of our life. just a sudden inspiration though.

for example in econs, there are poor rich divide. but because there are the poor, thats why there is the rich. its people that doesnt have money that makes those who have ( A LOT MORE ) seems richer. if everyone have $1 only, the only one with $5 will be the richest of all. and he can buy millions things with that $5 considering that most ppl only have $1 to spend.

its the same with intelligence also.

wadever things in life, its the differences in things that make up the different stands. evil or good, who is there to decide on it? for the good one to judge the evil? thats pure biasness. no one is capable of judging cause they have imperfect knowledge. and no one has perfect knowledge cause its relativity again that makes people seems intelligent, or at least knows more than the rest. SO its a viscous cycle after all.

anyway, relativity is the basis of all things. good exist because there is evil, smart exist because there is dumb, rich exist because there is poor, love exist because there is hate.


end of relativity.






i'm afraid of darkness because i've seen lights
i'm afraid of silence because i've heard sound
i'm afraid of dying because i've experience life
i'm afraid of loneliness because i've love you.

spider pig! he is the true star of the simpsons movie! his pig crap lead to the whole toxic lake issue man! cool. and he is cute. his alter ego is harry plopper. lols.

go to http://www.spiderpig.org/

:)

every moment pass by with me thinking more and more about you.

life sucks when you are engrossed in things u dun like. i totally dun like to study, but here i am wasting my life for A's.

maybe i had never did so much before, i actually went buah ( a mixed feeling of bonkas, confused, blur, lost, crazy and a bit of helplessness ) today la. luckily i oni have one A level in my life, i cant imagine me repeating it. it will probably drive me crazy :(

wad is the purpose of education?

wiki say it is the imparting of knowledge, positive judgement and well-developed wisdom. in fact the word Education is derived from the Latin word 'Educare' which means 'to nourish' or 'to bring up'.

but has singapore education reach that objective? all throughout our life we have been implanted with the concept that we need to score well to excel in life. it seems that exams result determine your path in life. from PSLE, to O level and now A level, all these are just filter to sieve out people of different capability. but who is to judge the potential of a person? u cant say a person that failed PSLE wont make it big one day. i had seen people from normal academic doing super well in junior college. and also the good results for one major exam wont clear your path and make ur future easier also.

i did well for my psle and got into rv. and then did rather de bad for my O's and now currently struggling to dig out a S from my U's arsenal. having a good start doesnt guarantee success. and ironically one of the first few higher chinese phrase is " xiao shi liao liao, da wei bi jia " ( having a good result when you are young doesnt mean you will be good in the future ). it is like a sign for us, to ask us to avoid been over complacent.

back to the education thingy. it seems like there has been different viewpoints about Singapore education system. in fact when we are young, we shows so much hatred for it that we complain at any slightest thing. we complain about pri 4 streaming exam and debate on why an extra higher chinese subject would set you at so called " better stream". and rmb the quarrel we had with our parents over the selection of secondary school?

then it comes to secondary school, we moan on every little thing. maybe it is the rebellious period? we seek fairness in everything, from school funding to CCAs, to the teachers assigned to each class. we were so into the state of communism that we nearly demanded the change of principal. i rmb we like to accused her out corruption, which i till now still suspect. but thats only for my secondary school. maybe urs is the same? petitions, voting and recommending is the new found thing we have in secondary school. for once, it give us a choice, a feel of democracy. ( come to think of it, it's rather ironical that we wanted everything to be equal and yet want to be democratic at the same time )

we hate education then and wonder wad's the point of studying things that we probably would never apply when we grow up. why study chemistry when washing test tubes is the last thing u wanna do when you work? why study physics when you never want to associate yourself with newton's laws next time when you work? ( on a sidenote, unless ur workplace is a newton ) we question the purpose of things and spent most of our time back then thinking of how to outsmart the education system.

but then as we grow older, we seems to realised that actually most things in life is out of your control. that's nothing we can do but to go along with the flow. you cant say u dun want to take A level and then just run out of your school ( actually u can, but only at ACSIB ) we are just a small counterpart in this huge engine call society. no matter how much we dislike or detest something, you cant change the direction of the engine. maturity in a certain sense refer to people giving up the struggle to change his life, giving up the fight to correct those obvious unfairness,and to forget about addressing the unjust of the wrongly accused. maybe that could be a reason why most of the time, strike group is mainly consist of students?

maybe you think you can change the world by contributing a small part to it. but that's because you are not aware of how small that part is.

no matter how impractical u think education is, u still have to take it. and if u really dun like the idea of studying irrevelant subjects in school now, you can consider going poly to undergo vocational training. but then bear in mind that in poly, you still will have to learn skills that u deem useless in order to complete the minimum modules.

to conclude, just dun think so much and follow the path which most people had already taken. it is pointless to struggle when you are already inside this whirlpool. jiayou to all junior college year 2 students.





damn, i wasted my time typing this entry :( back to notes.

countdown to prelim. VERY NEAR! stress stress.. whenever i stress i eat more, that explains my pri6, sec4 water barrel figure. lol. my conclusion is that my intelligence is directly proportional to my appetite. mwhahahahx.


have you ever got the feeling that u are on the right track but wrong train?
i used to have that feeling. but now that i had made up my decision, my choice, i'm just going to move forward. I've been setting aside time to clear a little space in the corners of my mind. study study study study study. i'm a 100% addicted mugger. i need books to survive, i need notes to satisfy me, i need TYS to have a good night sleep and i need reasons to keep on going.






Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one

from my guardian angel, for my guardian angel.

a big thanks to those who came, or messaged me. i will rmb it forever de. thanks.

i will get myself up again de, dun worry about me. no matter how wide the barrier is, i will still tunnel through like an electron de xp

do treasure people around you. dun wait till its too late. it is proven and tested.

i will be like a ball. the harder i fall, the higher i will bounce up again.

once again, big thanks to those who supported me.

addition to the last post, now the silence become even more deafening.

u were listening to the blasting music in your mp3, think somewhere along the line of " what i've done " by linkin park. then u walk down the corridors to your apartment and stop at the doorstep.

u off the music and take our the key. all is silence. the strange silence so unfamilar yet so thoughts provoking. u stop to think of what u had been doing the whole day outside. u start to have flashback of past incidents.

then u open the door to find an empty house. so dark and so quiet. u on the lights and it flicker a while before light wriggle into your small apartment.



strangely, thats how i feel everytime i come home.

50 topics. 4 subjects. 21 days. 1 man.











welcome to SURVIVOR: COMMON TEST

who will outwit, outsmart, outmug the rest to win the final price of passing the COMMON TEST? who will emerged the sole survivor?











oh..i feel so depressed...

Would you be there?

If I were blue, would you be there for me,
And whisper in my ears instead.
Would you stand by me, let me hold you tight,
And say you love me one more time.

If I'm away, would you still think of me,
And wish that you could call me now.
Would you die for me, would you run with me,
And never look back..

Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,
to take my breath away?

Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,
to take my breath away?

Would you be there..







sometimes all you need is someone to be there for you. it feel comfortable knowing that out there someone is actually caring for you, looking after you.

on a side note, i'm officially changing from rugger to mugger. haahx.

jjc rugby 2007 finally won the plate champion for A division Rugby. althought by ranking it is only the 5th, it still means we are better than the rest of the remaining neighbourhood jc. big thanks to all the supporters to come down even though u guys probabaly dun understand the game. u guys are sincere enuff to travel all the way down to support us, thanks a million.

this year rj is dominating all the sports finals. IMBA. lols.

got into both combined school and U19 nationals trials. hahax. still thinking if should go for them. on one side studies is surely going to get affected, on the other side, i'm givng up the opportunity other people have been wanted. i must choose my path carefully.

going to be school holiday soon. thats good, can wake up late le. i always have the problem waking up early de. yawn.

i like strawberry milk. random.

when u are tired, when u are losing focus, when your dream start to sway...


u tend to give up.

how disappointed can you get?

i had enough. its time for a change.





p.s jj rugby is playing cjc for plate final this wed. good luck to all of us.

the year is 2008. i just graduate from JJ and waiting for enlistment. days spent in jjc keep bothering me today. it was a mixture of joy and sorrow. memories of the past prop me to think of the events that took place. some had commented that things will be different if i had chosen to take another path. but the past is past, you cant change it no matter how much you want to. the rain outside my window doesnt help with my current emotion. this waves of emotion of my jc life simply sweep me away. back then i laughed at people who told me that life at jc would be the most memorable times we ever had in our life. i always thought they didnt put into account the stress we had in the last year. but i was wrong. 2 years of hectic lifestyle probably had sum it up my whole teenager year. i cant turn back time, thats why i cant tell myself to enjoy my jc life if i had the chance. thats why i choose to savour the memories i had in jjc. thats all i can do.

the year is 2011. finally i am enlisted into an uni. life has been easy for me, if you dun take account of the money problems i faced everyday. its seems to be that many of my friends were already starting their last year in uni, mainly the girls though. life in army was much much simple compare to here. back then the only thing i need to do is to follow the order. now it has become much more complicated.

the year is 2013. i just meet some of my friends a few weeks ago. it was a class gathering dinner with my jc class. some of them has started working, while some like me are still struggling with studies and keeping awake during lectures. it is quite ironic how two years in army can bring upon such a difference between us. the girls commented that we had matured, of course we didnt want to say that they had become much more ladylike. but we did. compare to prom night, where they splash make up on their face like they were making contemporary arts, they are simply beautiful now. maybe my other friends are also the same, but it has been a long time since we meet up. i miss my secondary school class.

the year is 2015. it was a hectic night after attending my friend's wedding. she finally got married le. after seeing all her friends going down the tomb of love, she cant resist it but to follow them. seeing her walking down the aisle, it reminds me of the days i spent with her. it was pretty dumb back then, back thats what teenager years are about.

2016. after working for one year, i find studying much more enjoyable than working. in the working society, one not only have to produce results to survive. if he made a wrong step in office politics, he would end up been the casulty of war. its even worse than blair saying yes to supporting bush for the invasion of iraq ( but that was decade ago ) My friend's son just turn 1 months old last week. when i went to help him witht he 1 month celebration, i cant help but think back the times we had together when we were much younger. it was like back then you can never imagine him as a responsible husband, but now he actually become a father. it become even more hilarious when he try to change the diaper of his son, he obviously didnt practise enough. have we changed?

the year is 2017. i'm 28 already. wad had i achieved so far? i rmb back then, when i was still a teenager, i talk big about stuffs i'm going to do when i grow up. now, it seems nothing will ever come true. come to think of it, life is easier when you have expectations and dreams.









































the year is 2007. none of those above had took place. it is merely my imagination of my life in the next 10 years. now i'm still studying for my maths test tmr and hiding away from the blazing sun outside. but then, to think again, i wont want to live my life with any regrets. i dun want to disappoint myself. to lead my life to a fullest is hard, but i can start by trying.




















maybe i should start by passing the maths test tmr. xp

this time tmr and we will know our performance for this season. first match, VS HCI. The unknown in this tournament... no info about their friendly record.. never see them before. lols.

few more hours to the match...

share some stuff about rugby. It has been said that the forwards decide who wins and loses and the backs decide the margin of victory or loss. The primary role of the forwards is to win possession and the backs job is to do something useful with possession. lets do something forward and pray backline wont screw it up. hahax.

the rugby season starts le. after 1 year and 4 months, all that matters is this 6 weeks of tournament. make it or break it, i play a role in it, a 1/15 role.

so unless I miss my guess, we're in for one wild season.

what makes ur heart want to linger?

ca1526 last line .... would u understand?

hahax. has been rather tired and busy lately.. too much commitments required from rugby, plus ventures, results and other shit.. all stack tgt then no time for myself le.

read this book recently, it is titled " are we having more but no enjoying the best ?"

indeed i think that is wad is going on with my life now. its seems like everyday is just a mad rush of schedule..rushing to do one thing, rushing to one place.. i try so hard to meet up with frens now and then, but yet there was simply not enuff time for all..

i forgot when is the last time i watch lousy movie le....

i'm really tired. i'm just too engrossed in fulfiling every shit thrown to me that i didnt even have time to enjoy the process. yes, i might complete the task, but i wont enjoy the process at all.. i had too much to handle le.. and this holiday is certainly not for me to take a break.

maybe one day i shld just take a unknown bus to some unknown place in the east, switch off my phone and just listen to songs when slacking thru out the bus journey...

life is best when it is simple...

i want a simple life for a change...

oh my god. like damn long nv blog le..wasnt really busy with sch stuff, just that been busy watching naruto :) hahax.

life has been rather dull for me... been thinking... have i met with another illusion bubble? why is it that everytime when i'm willing to believe in something, it just burst...taking my dream with it oso...

been praying and hoping very hard that it is not an illusion bubbles...

and on a good note, i'm starting to mug le.. yeah..

一天又過一天,一年又過一年...
未來有著太多的不確定
只希望我在還能對妳付出時
能夠把我的全部心力都給你
只希望能見到妳的微笑
未來就讓它悄悄的來到

my blog a bit die le...lols..so come here crap something lor..

越靠越近的愛 會讓人患得患失 一步步的陷入 期待與失落總是接踵而來

valentine's day coming le..yeah...

i'm doing my maths tut 11 on that day..

haish...

oh ya, my chem still havent break the worse than physics curse. now my chem is 20%, then my physics 22%. lols. my chem sucks..

2007 is a brand new year. hooray. Like what i wrote for one of my campers, this is a beginning of a new chapter in life. As the year starts, i write down some new year resolution, this is also the first time i wrote new year resolution.. hahax

1) Be hardworking and get good results. ( This is it le lor, A level year, make it or not, depends on constant effort from me le.

2) Top 4 for rugby tournament. I really want to play my best in all the tournament matches sia. I also hope that the team shall share this common goal.

see, two only. I'm not so greedy. hahax.

Just woke up from 16 hours of sleep, damn pig la. Camp was tiring..

Orientation camp, alchemy of life has just ended, but not my ogl time. To all my campers form OG20, i will always be there to guide u, thru the loopholes of rules in JJC. hahax.

Got a lot of things to say ar, but dunno how to voice it out... hahax.

But a big thanks to og20.. especially to huilu, junxiang, jiajun, jiesheng, ryan,bryan, kelly(s), zhang shiting, patrick, shihui, boyi and euodia. U guys make my time as ogl enjoyable and impactful. And i know u guys like my fav game: chit chat. ahahx.

Get damn high during the whole orientation period la. U ask any family 4 ogls and they will say i'm crazy. hahx. i no voice also can cheer louder than the whole family 4. ahahx. steady boh ( i actually make me and ziwei fav phrase: steady into a cheer. hahahax )

Family 4 rawks btw. Thanks a lot to fellow ogls. Junting damn pervert la, whole day MIA go fishing de. hahax, but he is a very high person oso la, whole day keep cracking jokes de. Then junxiong and christo are really good frens sia, christo is always there to help with my og, cause most of the time only left me aishah with og20, then we 2 noob noob one also. ahhax. denise is damn good also, share her drinks with me : ) then shihui also very nice to me, keep giving me warm water and fisherman friends, thanks worhx. then stella very cute also, still rmb dancing with her on stage, damn paiseh la, cause i'm not SCDC one, then oso dunno how to dance, but heck. ahhax. then emily is always my one day lover, haahx, cause emily and edmund yee sounds alike. hahax. then zhouren is forever busy de with family head stuff de, but he is actually quite responsible ah. then jack and i kip cracking stupid jokes de la, wah liew, think we 2 can go act dumb and dumber le. ahhax. zhiwei and jo kip doing stupid stuff during mass dance section,they like acting sheng diao xia niu one. ahahx.

JJ night was damn high. althought there was a small error with f1 and f4 performance, but nvm sia. at least we haf put in effort le right, thanks a lot to f1 for making the props. we celebrated ming ming bday on the 6 also. hahax. the OG gift was a puzzle forming the word OG20, it was nice la. hahax. then at night while doing og gift, i went over to stella table and do, then we chit chat a bit, then after that i finish le, go sleep on the mini stage at canteen. then chao funny de la, cause yuzheng, sleep opposite me sia. then we wake up tgt, then we go back sleep. then wake up tgt again, check the time, go back sleep again. then wake up tgt, tell each other still can sleep somemore, go back sleep again. haahax

overall the camp was shiok and rewardful. hope f4 ogls and og 20 can continue to bond tgt. yeah. bye...

2006 is ending in 27 hours time. i should round my year up in this n3.

jan: the orientation camp of JJ. it was fun, superb fun. Know a lot of new friends, although i keep having this feeling the friendship wont last ( i mean how strong can it be when it was forged over a 3d2n camp only ). in the end my point is proven right, look at how many i still stay in contact with now. hahax. but at least during that 3d2n camp, the friendship bond was true, was real. it is amazing how a camp can bring some many strangers together.

feb: birthday months for my og 9. a lot of them are aquarius, so birthdays are all around that period. i rmb we have a birthday bash at jp de swensons. it was fun man. i also get to know 06s19. kian, hongming, ber, kaiyan, karo.. a lot more.. we spent almost every lesson ( except chinese lesson ) playing cards and just slack like a dog la. first three months is really honeymoon period sia.

march: joined rugby in jan. during march, we have a trip to kL. we had a match against JTC on the first day, and after that is just pure shopping and eating. KL trip is the reason why i am less relucant to buy clothes in singapore nowadays. things there are dirt cheap and nice la, why spend $40 on a piece of cloth in singapore? hahax. was not choosen for ogl, quite sad sia. cause a lot of those people that were choosen as ogl eventually transfer out of jj after o level result is released. wtf? haish, life is unfair in the first place. to be fair itself is to be unfair. feel a bit left out. but maybe it was a blessing in disguise, i get to know ppl like ziwei, jia le and liang tong thru elf. during that period, we keep hanging out tgt la, damn high.

april: rmb training hard but yet still fail to make it into the team. it was sad. i really hate the feeling of working so hard, trying so much, yet to fail it like nobody business. i swore on that day that next year, i'm going to be one of the best player in the whole squad and make them regret their decision.

may: tournament period, JJ got to the plate final, but lose to PJ eventually for the plate championship.

later half of 2006: due to the fact that i cant rmb the exact month that each event take place, wo zhi hao sum it up at one shot. hahax. i rmb becoming the chairman of ventures, tough job sia, cause compare to plc in RVES, a lot of things is hard to be carry out. no 5 digit budget, no place to build structure... all we have is a kang nai xin room and a bloody toilet as ventures room.

played the testimonal match, rmb performing quite well for that game. thru the whole game, i was telling myself, wtf, show that wad a good player they missed out.

went for youthnique camp and VLC, and get to know a lot of west area ventures, especially people from southern wave troop like keng hee, jessica, yongjun, tristan and many more..

created BGC tgt with ziwei they all. it all started from gambling in my hse during world cup period, then we all start to play mahjong tgt.. and all is history. but i wanna say this point, gambling on credit is bad, so dun bite off more than u can chew. i have seen people gambling more than the amount they are able to afford. tsk tsk.. bad attitude to gambling. gambling is but a game to waste some time, the money should be treated as payment for entertainment and not tools for making more money. wrong attitude in gambling can lead to serious problem.

had a lot of problems in 2006..but as the 2006 comes to an end, the problem finally see a ray of light..

maybe i have been going in a circle of too long, and when i finally found a way of the tunnel, it was rather relived. perhaps i have come out from the wrong side of the tunnel, but at least it is still better than stuck in there right? i hope so..

想起自己以前也曾為了愛失去自我，總以為對方就是一切 總是為了對方改變，或是希望對方為自己改變， 但換來的卻是不快樂或是彼此的怨懟， 隨著年紀增長，才知道每個人都是不易改變的，即便自己也是如此
kope from www.hiyawu.com

i have changed a lot this year. more moody, more fake, more bad. but then to defend myself, it was necessary. it is hard u know, whr everyone around u dun think good of u. but then, it doesnt matter le. i'm out of the tunnel, it is nice to be frank and speak ur mind out :) i love the current me..


:)


oh ya, got something i confirm must say it out..hahax.. i recently get to know a dumb but cute friend, cause when i anyhow say i wanna eat muah chee ( cause i commented a day ago she look like a muah chee ball ), she really go buy sia. hahax. okay... just been random. : ) anyway thanks worhx!


2007 is coming in 27 hours time. it also means 2006 is dying in 27 hours time. This will be the last 27 hours of 2006. while the people around the one is preparing the celebration of 2007, i might be the only one grieving over the death of 2006.. during the last 27 hours of 2006, i shall reminise the past, for i want to start a new chapter of life in 2007. as i told lao ren, everything will be settle in 2006, be it good or bad. bye bye 2006, let me accompany you for the next 27 hours ..

:)

:)

wah..ogl camp very fun. hmmm. family 4 very high sia. didnt regret joining, that time i wanted to be different, so i one person venture into the arts family ( cause arts stream people all go family 1 ). mwhahax. but turns out arts stream ppl more high sia :) a lot are O2 people sia, so good to know them sia. yeah.

lols..and we have counter the cold in the hall le. the key to it is XAC tent! hahax, we zhou ren zhiwei sleep until the tent, so warming la. Starting we even complain hot la, lols.

camp very fun. yeah.

i just know something. a lot of decisions to make, must start to plan le.

to u:

hey, wait for me. i know wad u want le : )

bgc ( buah guia clan ) once talk about it before, " have u select your characters, hows your game progressing " such stuff.

so using the same principle, i wanna say something.

i have decided to pause my game, save game and quit it for a while.

all along thru this game, there have been no incentives to encourage to go on with the game. There are no items for me to pick up, level for me to level up or even secrets to unlock further. All along is me trying to play it. I'm tired.

So i want to pause it le.

Maybe i will change disc and play another game? Or maybe after i recharge my energy, i will go and load the game again? Maybe "i'm tired" is just an excuse for me? Maybe there is no maybe at all?

hohoho..merry xmas...

yesterday old man chan introduce me to a very chim and kinky game sia. the game is like a detective game like that, u have to find the items, and figure out how they work in order to get out of the room.

we ( me, old man chan and yueqiu ) manage to get out of all 3 rooms. lols. we smart leh...cas got out of red room first, i got out of green room first, then yueqiu get out of blue room first. hahax, we all are smart people. ( p.s green room harder leh, so i smarter XP)

http://www.xiaosa.com.cn/astro/dnly/zscs/200607/23445.html this is the red room address..

wah tap, i still rmb asking old man chan how to get out of red room, then he reply:" i old man mah, got more patience, so can get out"

wth? tap..

going chalet later..hmmm...will be damn rush la, but i will still go..

so those people that work as wrappers, dun fall asleep when u reach home leh!

i revive this blog! mwhahax

now is 0121, tmr i still got ogl meeting at 0900.. confirm very hard to wake up de. the last ogl meeting i oso overslept..

2 months more to valentine!

less than 2 months more to my birthday!

would i spend my valentine, my birthday alone?

sulking in one corner of the room eating a slice of pandan cake?

lols. but before that..christmas! time to attend lesson for card making le. hahax.

ventures camp was a success, althought cephas keep saying it is a flop. lols. the fact that ppl blog about it means it is a success! yeah. join ventures.. it is fun.. it is a different experience from your usual stuff. at least i crawl/swim half the jurong lake.

so if u are still hunching your back and playing dota now, join ventures. or if u waiting for some one to post the translation of bleach 107 on youtube, join ventures. or u just call mac delievery and hope to win $10000, join ventures. or you are the one delievering mac delievery, join ventures. or u are playing maple story, go away, ventures no need you. hahax.

so if u are aspired to join ventures now, leave your contact numbers behind : )

We have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints; we spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less

We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time; we have more degrees, but less common sense; more knowledge, but less judgement; more experts, but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness

We spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too seldom, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom We have multiplied our possesions, but reduced our values

We talk too much, listen so too seldom, love too little and lie too often We've learned how to make a living, but not a life; we've added more years to life, not life to years We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but have less communication; we've become long on quantity, but short on quality

We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbour We've conquered outer space, but not inner space; we've done larger things, but not better things; we've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul; we've split the atom, but not our prejudice; we write more, but learn less; plan more, but accomplish less

We've learned to rush, but not to wait; we have higher incomes; but lower morals; more food but less appeasement; more acquaintances, but fewer friends; more effort but less success

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; tall men and short character; steep profits, and shallow relationships

These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare; more leisure and less fun;more kinds of food, but less nutrition. these are days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken homes

These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one-night stands, oveerweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill

It is a time when there is much in the shop window, and nothing in the stockroom

Indeed it's all true. think about it. read it again.

-written by anonymous